If you’re tired of being afraid to start something new or keep giving up, here’s your dose of free therapy to cultivate a different mindset!
Global (20 August, 2023) — Across hobbies, passions or those must-dos we love or want to love, there’s usually a series of mental catches. What if I can’t stick to it? What if it doesn’t go how I thought? And the biggest one that inhibits most people from even starting: What if I’m not good at it? These catches that voice themselves in our minds tend to take on a role similar to unwanted spam mail–they’re persistent and sometimes annoyingly difficult to mute. If this sounds like you, here’s your free therapy to take into next week and beyond.
Getting over the mental conversations that hold us back requires a little understanding as to why they exist in the first place.
Your Brain is Always Trying to Keep You Safe
If you’re someone with anxiety, you already know that your brain’s over-protective mechanisms are great in some cases and the bane of your existence in others. However, even if you don’t have an anxiety disorder, it’s helpful to know that your brain is usually going to pick the route that’s most familiar, because logically, that would appear to be the safest. This is because our brains are far more concerned with survival than anything else.
So, doubts and fears that might be holding you back from starting are, to your brain, risks. Threats. Unfamiliar. Hence the narrative constantly repeats itself until we learn that the new territory (whether that looks like a gym, art studio or new business venture to you) is not harmful.
Understanding this is one of the biggest ‘uh huh’ moments to squashing the thoughts that hold you back. Think of it as taking advice from an overly cautious person who would never leave the house if they could: consider their advice, but leave the house and see for yourself.
Now for the second kicker: sticking with what you started. Starting is amazing, but how do you stay consistent?
It’s not just about managing your time, being disciplined or really believing in yourself (though all of that helps a great deal). Often, we give up not because we don’t like something anymore, but because we’re not good at it.
Cue the biggest sigh of relief you might feel today—You are going to be bad at it.
Accepting Being Bad at Something is the Fuel That’ll Make You Good
In fact, you might just be awful. You might just be the best at being the worst. The good news? Once you accept that and add a ‘for now’ to it, you start to change the way you tackle things.
You won’t be anxious that you might not excel the next time you try (and subsequently not try again at all) because you know you’re not here to excel right now. And if you do excel, it’ll come as a nice surprise and an indication of what’s possible without the disappointment of too much pressure.
You’ll also be able to study your actions better, going in with the mindset that your commitment is to effort, not just to excellence.
From there, each time you try your only focus becomes being better, not just being good. You’ll be able to criticise your actions more constructively without reinforcing the mindset of ‘I’m so bad at this’ in a negative way, because you’ll know that being bad at something is the fuel to being good (it has become a positive value!). You’ll get so much more done too. And the consistency of all of this will automatically put you on a beeline to a place where you’re not bad at something anymore.
So, if you’re still grappling with a commitment to new things or haven’t even attempted them despite the reminders on your phone, keep these two nuggets for thought in your arsenal and you might just outsmart yourself.
by 