This list of the “10 most important things we learned about the coronavirus from Cyril’s speech according to the scientists/advisors of the NCCC” is making most of the country laugh.
South Africa (28 May 2020) – There is no denying that some of the lockdown regulations have confused many South Africans, and now a WhatsApp message is going viral, pointing out why.
There are several WhatsApp messages about the COVID-19 pandemic and South Africa’s turn around on lockdown regulations with some saying it feels like a game of “snakes and ladders”. But this list of the “10 most important things we learned about the coronavirus from Cyril’s speech according to the scientists/advisors of the NCCC” is making most of the country laugh.
It is a South African trait to laugh when times are tough; it seems to be a thing that runs through every person and helps us cope when we have no other options. Time and time again, we have shared moments of anguish by laughing a little, and this ridiculous list is bringing all the tears of laughter!
Side note, and we can’t believe we have to issue this, but this list is just a joke, adding some laughter in these trying times.
We are not sure who wrote this list, but it is being shared rapidly on WhatsApp and causing loads of laughter.
The ten most important things we learned about the coronavirus from Cyril’s speech (according to the scientists/advisors of the NCCC of course):
1. The coronavirus has lost its ability to tell time…
… and therefore, you can now exercise any time of day, and the military curfew has also been lifted.2. The coronavirus can unfortunately still tell the difference between dog hair and human hair…
… and therefore, doggie parlours can still operate but hair salons may still not.3. The coronavirus has the ability to gauge a golfer’s playing proficiency…
… and therefore, professional golfers may play and practice, but amateurs may not.4. The coronavirus surprisingly has the ability to tell the difference between a tourist and a businessman…
… and therefore, you can now use air travel for business travel but not for leisure travel. This will be limited to domestic flights as the scientists are not yet sure whether the coronavirus can differentiate between domestic and international flights.5. The coronavirus has lost its ability to tell the difference between winter clothing and underwear…
… and therefore, you can now buy any clothing products in any store, including open-toe shoes.6. The coronavirus has lost its ability to tell the difference between people working on commercial building projects and infrastructure building projects…
… and therefore, all commercial building projects may continue.7. The coronavirus has lost its ability to tell whether you are buying food products or appliances in Makro…
… and therefore, you can now buy household appliances.8. The coronavirus has lost its ability to tell if you have been consuming alcohol…
… and therefore, you can now purchase alcoholic beverages for home consumption. The scientists are however not sure if the coronavirus will still be able to tell the time/date when the alcohol was purchased, and therefore the government will only allow sales at certain times on certain days (just to be safe).9. The coronavirus still has the ability to tell if you are a smoker…
… and therefore, the sale of tobacco products is still prohibited. In fact, the coronavirus can tell whether you bought the cigarettes legally or on the black market. It will henceforth be necessary to produce a till slip when confronted by the coronavirus to prove that the cigarettes you are smoking were legally purchased before 27 March 2020.10. The scientists learned that the coronavirus lost the ability to tell how hot food came to your table…
… and therefore, you can now buy also purchase restaurant food at ‘drive-throughs’ or collect it personally from your favourite restaurant. But the coronavirus can still tell where you eat the food, so it is best to eat it at your own home.Since the advising scientists are not entirely sure about anything, and whether or not the coronavirus still has the ability to read the Gregorian calendar, all of the above will only be in effect from 1 June 2020.
Stay safe everyone!
by 