Four friends are working to prove that not all fathers are absent and hope to inspire absent fathers, to step up and be better.
Sebenzile Zalabe, Bantu Mtshiselwa, Sizwe ‘Slyso’ Saliso and Luvuyo ‘Star’ Nyembezi have joined forces to help change the perception of absent fathers within the black community. They want to show that not all fathers are absent and hope to inspire fathers that are, to step up and be better.
The group launched a campaign in Nelson Mandela Bay to create awareness around the impact of absent fathers in communities.
The friends, who are all fathers, teamed up and launched their campaign #Blackfathersstandupza in April at the Tramways Building. They have been collecting supplies and donating them to the mothers at Dora Nginza Hospital.
Bantu Mtshiselwa, who’s son is six months old, has been studying in Germany, which is where he saw the vast difference between fathers.
“I was raised by strong women who made me the man I am today because I grew up without a father present in my life,” he said.
“So I know what it feels like to not have a father figure apart from my uncles.” Mtshiselwa is a former radio DJ at BayFM. “I became a father to a beautiful, happy and friendly baby boy who made me reflect on my own relationship that I never had with my father as a young boy and that is when I made a vow to be there for my son, always,” he said.
“Our aim is to bring focus to the fact that black present fathers do exist too.”
The campaign aims to inspire absent fathers to take responsibility for their children, to be part of their lives and uplift their community. As they say, “It takes a village”.
Luvuyo Nyembezi, father to a bouncing 10 month old, wants the campaign to ignite conversations between young men and to give them the courage to call out the men that are not taking their parenting responsibilities seriously.
“We need to call each other out because we cannot continue having men who drive nice cars and wear nice clothes, yet are not making any contribution towards their children.
“If we are to rebuild our communities we need present, active fathers and the kids in our communities need role models – we need to be those role models.
“The pressure and responsibility of raising a child cannot be placed on the mother while the father is out there living his life.
“We need responsible black men,”
The group have done the research and found that almost half of all South African children grow up without their fathers. That is spread across every demographic and focuses on fathers that are still alive, just absent. Black children are the most affected by this unhealthy trend, at 51%.
“This issue is often reinforced by men’s failure to exercise the values of responsibility, selflessness, integrity and love with regard to their children,” Mtshiselwa said.
“Given that these and other social problems correlate more strongly with father absence than with any other factor – surpassing race, social class and poverty – father absence may well be the most critical social issue of our time.”
It is great news seeing fathers step up and have open discussions about the problems they face in South Africa. Hopefully this campaign can be the catalyst for change.
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