Giving a child a phone means full access to the internet, strangers, platforms and messaging at any hour… we need to set boundaries for kids to be safe!
South Africa (12 January 2026) – I don’t know what the “right age” is to give a child a phone and I’m not here to tell anyone how to parent. I’m not judging, I’m not pointing fingers and I’m not pretending I have all the answers.
I’m just sharing something that happened because I believe it’s important.
I got my first phone when I was 15 but it was a very different world back then. My phone could call, SMS and play Snake. That was it. There were no apps, no social platforms, no strangers sitting behind screens and no endless access to the entire world in your pocket at all hours of the day and night. Our kids got their first phones at around 16 and I can’t remember if we had hard rules in place when it came to usage, or apps, or even checking on what they were actually doing (on those devices) but I now believe that if our kids have phones (or devices), there should be some very strict rules in place.
Since 4am this morning, I’ve been getting messages from a child. I don’t know their exact age… let’s call them a tween. I checked their profile properly. This wasn’t a scammer or some creepy fake account. This was just a kid, wide awake in the early hours of the morning, messaging (and calling) random people… looking for someone to give them Robux.
Children don’t always understand the weight of the online world. Actually, most adults don’t either. But kids are curious, and brave, and bored… they’re impulsive and they think they’re in control. They don’t always understand that not everybody they meet online is kind, or safe, or honest, or even sane. There are f*cking weirdos in this world, and all they need is a little WiFi to gain access into another person’s (or child’s) life.
I immediately blocked them (the kid who was messaging me)… and then contacted their parents. The kid is friends with their parents on Facebook.
I guess I would want somebody to do the same for me. Not to shame or embarrass anyone. Or to make a scene. Just to protect a child.
But I also felt this was a massive learning, said with love and urgency, for all parents out there.
If you choose to give your child a device, please don’t hand it over and assume it will be fine. A phone (or tablet) isn’t “just a phone” anymore. It’s access to the entire world, and while a lot of that world is brilliant and educational and fun, parts of it are dark and dangerous, and children should never be navigating those parts alone.
If you do give your child a phone, these are practical things (I think) that can make a real difference:
Please set a hard rule that phones don’t go into bedrooms at night.
Not a “try your best” rule. Not a “we trust you” rule. A proper rule with a charging station in the kitchen or the lounge (or your bedroom), because 4am messaging shouldn’t be possible in the first place. Kids need sleep, their brains need rest and the internet does not need access to them when the house is quiet and everyone else is asleep.
Use Screen Time / Downtime settings and actually take them seriously.
Lock social apps after a certain time, lock messaging apps too and approve app downloads so you know what’s being installed. Kids don’t just download games. They download chat apps, private browsers, hidden apps and vault-style apps that are literally designed to keep things from parents. They are clever, yes, but your job is to be cleverer.
Make their accounts private, and restrict who can message them.
This one is non-negotiable. No public profiles. No open DMs. No strangers having easy access. A child should not be receiving messages from random adults, and a child should not be able to send messages to random adults either. If they’re on social platforms, those privacy settings must be locked down properly and checked often, because platforms update things all the time and what was safe last month might not be safe now.
Have the conversation with your child more than once.
And not the dramatic “stranger danger” talk that scares them into silence but the real talk that keeps them safe. They need to hear, clearly and consistently, that if anyone makes them uncomfortable, asks for photos, asks for secrets, says “don’t tell your parents”, sends anything inappropriate, or wants to meet up… they can come to you immediately. No punishment. No anger. No phone taken away for telling the truth. Just a parent who is there for their child when their child may need it most.
If you’re a parent reading this and your child has a phone or a tablet, I’m not saying you’re doing anything wrong. These devices are such incredible tools. They give us (and your kids) access to the world, but they also give the world access to your child.
Good grief, just writing that sentence gave me chills. Keep your kids safe by keeping their devices (and access to things on those devices) safe too.
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