Therapist and Counsellor Kerryn Matthews penned a helpful list for people who are unsure about the therapy process, and it is an excellent aid for those looking for help.
South Africa (20 April 2022) – Finding a therapist that suits your needs can be challenging and sometimes a little discouraging, but Kerryn Matthews, a therapist and counsellor at Magalies Wellness Centre, has some insights from the therapist’s point of view.
Her tips are constructive and encourage people to take their mental wellness and health into their own hands.
We caught up with Kerryn to find out what inspired her list. She explained that she hopes it will break the stigma surrounding mental health. Beyond the helpful parts of the list, she also tries to dispel a few things she often hears about therapy.
Just a reminder to anyone who is on the fence about going to therapy:
- A psychologist or counsellor is not there to judge you; our first priority is your mental well-being. We look at things from the perspective of “How can I help this person be the best version of themselves”, not ” You are fascinatingly fucked up”. You are a person, not our project. And no one ever fits into the neat little textbook descriptions we study. We know this. We have been through our own darkness, so there is a more profound empathy and compassion than most people realise.
- Don’t worry about what you are going to say. Most people’s first reaction is, ” I don’t even know where to begin”. You could literally begin the conversation about how crappy the weather is; we are trained to guide you through the process.
- The majority of us are not cold and clinical. I promise! There have been so many advancements in Psychology, and it’s taken a really beautiful and unexpected turn in the past 20+ years.
- YOU ARE NOT WEAK FOR SEEKING HELP! It really does take immense courage to open up and be vulnerable to a complete stranger. We get that.
– There are so many misconceptions about psychologists and therapists. I once heard a lady in the plant medicine healing field say she would rather go to someone that has been through what she’s been through themselves rather than a psychologist. The problem with this is that people tend to project their own perspectives and trauma onto others if they are not trained and therefore see the event from their own perspective and not from yours. This is very dangerous. And if I can let you in on a little secret? Most psychologists go into a particular field of study or have a way with certain clients because they DO have personal experience with that. The only difference is that we are able to take ourselves out of the situation, keeping our sense of empathy so that we can discern what the experience is like for YOU! Our own egos and projections have to be critically analysed, so we don’t end up causing more harm. Most people also think they can solve the problem on their own, yet don’t seem to realise that each of us has blind spots, things we do not see or sometimes choose not to see, and having a professional sounding board can help instigate that shift by pointing out things that sit in that blind spot. - Lastly, we are not here to save you or to tell you what to do with your life, all of that is completely up to you, and we aim to help empower you. We do not think that we are superior to you or more intelligent than you; we are merely humans who truly want to be a part of making the world a better place by helping the individual, community and society.
- P. S Look around and find a therapist that best suits you. We don’t take it personally if you feel that we are not a good fit for you. The therapeutic relationship is one of the most important parts of therapy. So try on different shoes until you find one that fits comfortably. The therapeutic journey is often a long walk, with lots of ups and downs, and there is nothing worse than walking with an ill-fitting shoe!
Kerryn suggests that if you want to find a therapist near you, to check out the directories available online. You can look at Better Help here or the Therapist Directory here.
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