The Empathologist Foundation, born from an adoptive family’s journey, is helping mothers in crisis reclaim their lives and dreams. Read Ms. M.N.’s story of resilience and transformation.
Cape Town, South Africa (30 June 2025) – Three years ago, Jose Olcina and Wayne Banks embarked on a journey to grow their family through adoption. What they didn’t realise at the time was that this would also grow their hearts, planting the seed for something bigger than they could have imagined.
During the whirlwind process of adoption, where your intentions, home, finances, and soul are scrutinised, Jose and Wayne came face-to-face with a truth few speak about: adoption doesn’t just begin a new chapter for a child, it also closes one for a biological mother, often left to navigate grief, stigma, and isolation alone.
They couldn’t turn away from this. Instead, they founded The Empathologist Foundation, a non-profit dedicated to supporting biological mothers in South Africa who have placed their children for adoption, and mothers facing the aftermath of parenthood in crisis.
In under a year, they’ve helped over 20 women begin again, offering tailored support ranging from trauma counselling and mental health care to employability training, childcare support, and even safe housing. Every story is unique, but at their heart lies the same commitment: empathy, community, and meeting each mother where she is.
One of these mothers is Ms. M.N., whose story, like so many others, begins in tragedy but grows into something fierce and hopeful.
Born into a home without her parents, Ms. M.N. was raised by extended family who betrayed her trust in the worst ways. A respected older relative sexually abused her while the community turned a blind eye to protect his reputation.
“When that happened, it changed my whole world. How can somebody I trust be the one to hurt me like this?” she said.
When he died, she fled to Cape Town to build a better life, but soon discovered she was pregnant. Alone and without support, she placed her child for adoption in Norway.
“I wasn’t ready to be a mother, I didn’t know what love was like.”
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“I wanted to end my life. But every time I looked at my children, I thought no, God will come through.”
And help did come. Through the Empathologist Foundation, she received transport money, a phone, and the support to land a security job. Within months, she gained control room training and felyt brave enough to dream of a home where she and her children could be safe and together again.
“Now that I’ve got a job, I want to buy myself a shack so that I can bring my children to stay with me. The only thing I need is a place for the three of us,” she says.
The foundation helped her make this dream a reality, too! They shared on the 14th of March that M.N. finally got her own home.
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She dreams, too, of one day helping others. Paying all the good she has been blessed with, forward.
“Someday, I would like to open an NGO for women and young girls who grew up like me.”
With quiet courage, she says what many need to hear:
“It’s not about money, it’s about support. Just by saying it’s okay, it’s going to be fine, you can change someone’s life. That’s what you did with me.”
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This is why The Empathologist Foundation exists: to make sure mothers like Ms. M.N. never have to navigate the road alone. As they say, all in time.
If you want to help support other mothers reclaiming their futures, you can find out more here or follow along the journey of these brave women via Instagram.
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