A South African woman is inspiring thousands to speak out against sexism after sharing an inappropriate whatsapp conversation.
Technology and new forms of media are huge enablers for people across the world to do good. Digital and social media are vital tools for campaigning, challenging and raising awareness about all sorts of initiatives that can better serve the community.
However, they can also be used by those who wish to insult, harass and threaten.
Mbali Ndhlovu posted a Whattsapp she had received from a person she chose not to name, in order to inspire other women who might face the same situation… she never knew it would get the reaction it did.
To my gorgeous female companions, especially those working in male-dominated environments.
I won’t name and shame, but I’ll share with you all a snippet from a Whatsapp chat from a known and reputable person in our wonderful entertainment industry, who seems to think that it’s okay to do this to women.
Happened just now, actually.
I met a powerful/successful male in the music industry last night at an event and we exchanged details.
I contacted him today to continue our chat from the night before and instead was given an opportunity to whore myself out in exchange for getting the work I was bidding for.
It’s the first time I’ve experienced something like this and I hope to share this so that any beautiful woman who finds herself in a similar situation should know not to take the bait.
You can say what you want about how I got to wherever I am, but I’ve never had to say yes to this type of message and neither should anyone out there.
(On the other hand, if something like this doesn’t phase you then I say totally go for it!)
Fuck you, if you’ve ever put someone in a similar position.
Please note that I’ve not named the person because it’s more trouble than it’s worth to get into that, and my intention here is to show anyone who needs to hear it that you don’t have to cheapen yourself for a lazy pig like this guy.
You might perceive yourself as desperate enough to take the bait, trust me you aren’t.
There is a difference between making sacrifices in order to succeed and compromising your value for the enjoyment of others or a false hope that things will be amazing.
I doubt that I would be respected if I accepted his ride offer – always make choices that you’re willing to live with. Say what you want but that shit stays with you forever.
The post has had many shares and comments but has also started an important online conversation where South African men and women are opening up with their own same stories.
Nicola Taylor posted: “Mbali Ndhlovu Exactly, there is no point in saying it, the lesson is to just be aware of it, not tolerate it and most importantly give a heads up to your girlfriends. Thanks Mbals, sorry you had to go through that, there is nothing more shocking and degrading when a man takes things in this direction, especially when your perspective is platonic and innocent.”
Kerrin McAlpine added: “I’ve worked in corporate all my life and can’t recall the amount of times something similar has happened to me. Misogyny is alive and well in so many industries”
Nicola Cooper commented; “At times I cannot believe that such rampant sexism exists, however it is something I have to deal with often. Do not let this disillusion you, there are many women in business who understand and support other women”
Dasia Lutova stated: “You know what makes me mad? This motherfucker doesn’t exist in a vacuum. He’s got brothers, friends, colleagues, hell an entire industry that he’s accountable to. All the men in all those spaces have co-signed this kind of behaviour from him. It’s nice when men say “Oh no, so sorry that happened to you!” when we tell these stories – but I always wonder how many of those same men will stop their friends telling rape jokes, or call their colleagues out on harassing women. Sigh. End rant.”
Oy-Ling Talula Booth posted: “Eish….. I really don’t understand why these dudes think it’s ok! I respond to these with my standard: “Dear Sender. You do not know me. I do not wish to provide you with any sort of pleasure. Imagine your mother, aunt, sister or friend received a message like this. This is not OK” Usually there is no response. Then I save them in the ol phone as Knobhead.”
Anele Ngwenya: “I’m so sorry you had to go through this Mbali, been there way too many times. I figure we’re left to lift each other off the ground because men like this clearly want to keep us on our knees. Sorry babe.”
Stephanie Smith added: “Great share. At some point messages like this are sent to just about every girl “for fun” or otherwise. Seeing it in a public forum really puts into perspective just how offensive it is. I wish this guy many daughters when he has grown up enough to have kids….”
After after just one day, Mbali Ndhlovu updated her post, thanking everyone for their messages and stories.
I didn’t realise what a big deal my post actually is/was.
My inbox is overwhelmed with messages from people I do and don’t know, as they brave it enough to share their incredible experiences!
I’m speechless, really.
Thanks for sharing and for getting in touch, I was just venting my frustrations and seem to have motivated others to get something off their chests, i’m amazed at what I am hearing.
Shoh
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