KindnessCan founders Jane Linley-Thomas and Paul Bushell share five simple ways to be the best kind of friend and they include setting boundaries.
South Africa (24 July 2023) – We could all do with some good friends right now. But being a good friend can sometimes feel hard and take practice. Like any relationship, friendships need feeding and growing.
Here are 5 things from KindnessCan to get you started:
1. Start with the feeling. Being a good friend doesn’t mean you have to have all the answers, or give the best advice. Healthy friendships are more about a feeling of connection and care. Next time your friend is sharing something personal, start by letting them know that you understand their feeling and that you’re available to listen (before talking about your similar experience or giving advice).
2. Check-in. Don’t wait or expect a friend to be the first one to reach out or share. Take the time to check-in. This could be a simple emoji heart when you know things are tough. Or the more specific how are you really doing question. Thoughtfulness can go a long way in making someone feel valued and seen. Make it easier for your friends to share, by being vulnerable and sharing yourself.
3. Be reliable. There’s a lot to be said for being someone who sticks to their word. Trust is earned by doing what you say you will do. You might not be able to fix or solve all your friend’s problems (and that’s not always your job), so be careful what you promise. But make sure you follow through on what you have offered.
4. Be trustworthy. Being private and confidential is a great way of deepening your friendship. This obviously means not sharing your friend’s private stories with other people. It also means being careful about the way you talk about other people with your friend. Talking badly or non-discreetly about other people with your friend can seem like a way of gaining their trust and showing your commitment, but it can also cause them to doubt the way you talk about them with other people.
5. Have boundaries. It’s kind for you and your friend to have certain boundaries. It’s healthy to sometimes say ‘no’, not always be immediately available, and have other relationships and interests in your lives. This relieves both of you from the pressure (and potential resentment) of the relationship, and gives you the healthy room to have other things which are important and enriching in your life.
KindnessCan is a movement started by radio personality Jane Linley-Thomas and emotional intelligence author, Paul Bushell. The movement of talks, workshops, podcasts and installations hopes to share the magic and power of kindness. For more information on KindnessCan, check out www.kindnesscan.co.za
What's Already in Your Shopping Basket Could Bless 3 Charities Supporting SA's Vulnerable
South Africa, Let’s Help Border Collie Rescue Find a New Home
by 
