This is the inspiring story of Ethan the Brave, and how thousands of South Africans have stood up for him… while letting the bullies know that what they are doing is not okay!
Johannesburg, South Africa (02 December 2020) – A 13-year-old reached out after being brutally bullied… and the response from South Africa has been inspiring, while sending a message to hateful bullies that we will collectively not stand for this.
Celebrities have offered to take him for lunch, big-burly-bikers want to escort him to and from school, police officers want to wear rainbow flags and make sure he is safe at home, while kids have invited him to their schools to show him what being a kind person means… Psychologists want to speak to the bullies and their parents (who have taught their children to hate), teachers want to offer him a safe-space for lessons, Dads and Moms want to offer their support on weekends and a group of teens even want to take him out, to show him that kids can be cool – and not bigoted like some of our older generation.
This is the story of Ethan the Brave, and how standing up and reaching out is one of the most powerful acts of kindness to yourself.
On Monday morning I received a message from a concerned mom – her 13-year-old son was being horribly bullied for being gay – to the point that the hateful kids were throwing rocks at him, and writing vile words on the walls of his home.
He has known all his life that he is different – and he has spent his whole life trying to understand why. Only those that have walked this path truly comprehend how lonely it feels when you are so young, and how confusing it is to have people hate you, for being you.
His single mom has been a pillar of support and always done whatever she possibly could to help her son.
“At the age of 5, I realised that my Ethan was different – I knew, a mom always knows! I also knew at that point that my world was going to be full of surprises… tears, laughter, sadness, happiness, but most of all I knew that I would walk this path with my beautiful son.”
Ethan’s mom understood that life might be tough for her son and decided to move out of the small town where they lived – she believed that her son would be able to thrive in a bigger city where being different would not be seen as a big deal.
One night while washing dishes after dinner, Ethan’s mom had a moment where emotion overwhelmed her, and the exhausted mom started crying.
“It’s tough being a single mom, and everything felt heavy – the workload, the budgeting, the unknown and the damn dishes. My almost 12-year-old Ethan came from behind and gave me the biggest hug and asked me to stop crying. He had to tell me something that was weighing heavy on him, and he explained that I would just start crying again when I heard what he had to say.”
With tears in his eyes, he said, Mommy, I think I like boys.”
Ethan’s mom dropped the dishes, hugged her son and started laughing.
“Mommy, why are you laughing?”
“Ethan, I have always known. A mom always knows. And I love you just the way you are! You are perfect just the way you are.”
A year later and the teen has had to endure the most disgusting bullying. Kids in his school and his complex where he lives often call him names, throw rocks at him and tell him that God will never love him as he is a mistake and should not be alive.
Constant hate is thrown at this young child for being different. His mom has had to protect him and has tried to help him through the bullying, but some days are harder than others, and Ethan’s mom would often wait for him to fall asleep before crying herself to sleep.
“I felt like a failure because I couldn’t protect my Ethan from the cruelty in the big world, I didn’t have all the answers, I couldn’t explain to him why, why people hate him for being gay.”
A good friend of the courageous mom told her to follow me – Brent Lindeque – and that’s when she decided to reach out to ask for help. She sat Ethan down and asked if he would be okay with that. If they could, together, ask for my advice on how to deal with the bullying.
What happened next is a reminder that we all have the power within us to change the course of someone’s life. We have the power to save a life… and all it takes is kindness.
I knew I couldn’t do this alone and I wanted to show Ethan that he was loved and that he had the support of an entire community so I took to my social media and asked you to show strength to a 13-year-old kid who was being bullied, and 24 hours later I sent his mom over 1000 messages… from you!!! Strangers taking time to share their love and kindness to someone in need.
Celebrities have offered to take him for lunch, big-burly-bikers want to escort him to and from school, police officers want to wear rainbow flags and make sure he is safe at home, while kids have invited him to their schools to show him what being a kind person means… psychologists want to speak to the bullies and their parents (who have taught their children to hate), teachers want to offer him a safe-space for lessons, Dads and Moms want to offer him and his family their support on weekends and even a group of teens want to take him out to show him that kids can be cool – and not bigoted like some of our older generation.
To read some of the amazing messages, click here.
I chatted to his mom the next day, and she said that she has never seen her son filled with so much confidence, happiness and possibility.
He has had the hardest year, and that night that he received the messages, he opened up to her that he has spent this year thinking about unthinkable things. Things that will break your soul. Things that would have left us all heartbroken.
Kindness saved a life. You saved a life.
“One post, a thousand comments, a blessing from beyond. Ethan read every single one’s comments! Tears but with smiles in between. We had a long talk that night; I gave him the biggest hug, he hugged me back and said that is for Uncle Brent, it’s not your hug mom. Please tell Uncle Brent I thank him for showing me that I am never alone.
He had the best day today.
Everyone was born with a gift, a talent a purpose for being on earth. ”Uncle” Brent you have given me strength again to be strong for my Ethan.
You have all made my Ethan brave and showed him; we are not alone. We are truly grateful that you crossed our paths.”
And for anyone who is going through a tough time. I want you to hear this as loud as possible: REACH OUT. There are friends, family and strangers who will be there for you. The story of “Ethan the Brave” is proof of this.
I want you to know that you are more than enough that you are loved & are perfect in every way. You are here for a reason, and that reason is to be you. One morning you’ll wake up different. Done with trying to figure out who is with you, or against you, or walking down the middle because they don’t have the guts to pick a side. You’ll be done with anything and everything that doesn’t bring you peace.
You’ll realise that opinions are a dime a dozen, that validation is only for parking and loyalty isn’t just a word but rather a lifestyle.
It will be that day that your whole life will change. And not because of anything else but yourself and the simple fact that you’ll realise that life is way too short to leave the key to YOUR happiness in anyone else’s pocket.
Until that day, I’ll hold your hand a little tighter. I’ll stand up to every bit of abuse and bullying. I’ll stand for equality and love and good things. I’ll stand with you and for you until you’re ready to stand for yourself.
And I also want you to know that love always wins!
There are loads of people who will show you just that in your life right now, but if for any reason you are confused and scared because of who you are, then I am here for you. If your family do not accept you, then I am here for you. And if you just need a shoulder to cry on, I am here for you.
Do not be dismayed by the hatefulness and brokenness of the world. All things break. And all things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention.
So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally, loudly.
The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is you.
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