Mari Payne, Deputy Managing Director and Senior Director of Education and Programmes at Takalani Sesame, shares insights for helping young children recognise their emotions, build confidence, develop empathy and manage difficult feelings.
Johannesburg, South Africa (21 October 2026) — In South Africa, children grow up in many different family and community settings. Whether they are raised by parents, grandparents, extended family members or other caregivers, the relationships around them play an important role in helping them feel safe, loved, valued and understood.
Emotional wellbeing in the early years includes helping children feel safe and connected, recognise and express emotions, build confidence, show care for others and practise simple strategies for calming their bodies and minds. When families support these skills through everyday interactions, children are better able to cope with challenges, form positive relationships and participate in learning.
“The small moments between children and the adults who care for them can help build important emotional wellbeing skills, including feeling safe and connected, recognising and expressing emotions, developing confidence, showing empathy and knowing how to ask for help,” says Mari Payne, Deputy Managing Director and Senior Director Education and Programmes at Takalani Sesame, she explains that these skills also support school readiness.
“Children who can name feelings, use simple calming strategies, ask for support, manage frustration and engage positively with others are better able to take part in classroom routines, build friendships and focus on learning.”
Payne notes that children do not need perfect circumstances to develop these foundations. They need consistent opportunities to feel heard, valued, supported and included. These moments can happen anywhere: at home, on the way to school, at preschool, during play with siblings or while sharing a meal with family.
“A child who feels emotionally secure is more likely to explore, learn, communicate and build positive relationships with others. This is why emotional wellbeing and social-emotional learning are so important, particularly during the early years when children are developing their sense of identity, belonging and self-worth,” adds Payne.
She notes that supporting a child’s emotional wellbeing does not always require additional time, money or resources. Often, it happens in everyday moments: listening to a child after a difficult day at school, offering comfort when they feel overwhelmed, or helping them find the words to explain why they are upset and what might help them feel calm again.
Payne shares five simple, realistic ways families and caregivers can build these moments into everyday routines:
1. Start by listening
For many families, mornings and evenings can be busy. Between getting children ready for school, travelling early to beat traffic, preparing meals and managing household responsibilities, finding time for a conversation can be challenging. But even small moments of connection matter.
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Dear Tired Humans, You’re Actually Doing Okay!Asking a child about their day and giving them your full attention can help them feel heard and valued. Instead of immediately trying to solve a problem, adults can first acknowledge the feeling, stay calm and help the child feel safe enough to talk. This kind of listening teaches children that their emotions matter and that trusted adults can help them work through difficult moments.
A simple, “I can see that today was difficult. Do you want to tell me what happened?” can help a child feel safe enough to open up.
2. Help children name their big feelings
Young children may know that something feels wrong without understanding exactly what they are feeling. When adults help them name feelings, notice body cues and practise calming strategies such as taking slow breaths, pausing, asking for support or moving to a quieter space, children begin to build emotional regulation.
Whether a child is frustrated because a sibling took their toy, nervous about starting school or excited about seeing a friend, adults can help by putting words to these experiences.
Try saying: “You seem frustrated. Is it because you wanted a turn?”
Over time, children learn that feelings are normal and that there are positive ways to express them.
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3. Build confidence through little responsibilities
Young children build confidence when adults notice their efforts, encourage persistence, offer choices and create safe opportunities for them to contribute. These moments help children experience themselves as capable members of the family, which strengthens both self-belief and belonging.
Age-appropriate tasks such as packing away toys, helping set the table, choosing a story for bedtime or helping prepare something simple can give children a sense of responsibility and belonging.
Caregivers can also recognise effort by saying, “You kept trying,” or “Thank you for helping.”
These small acknowledgements can help children develop the belief that they are capable and that what they do matters.
4. Use stories, songs and play to teach empathy
Through play, storytelling, songs, routines and guided problem solving, children can rehearse kindness, sharing, helping, comforting and repairing relationships in ways that feel natural, joyful and developmentally appropriate. Empathy grows as children begin to recognise emotions in themselves and others, hear language that explains different perspectives, and see caring behaviours modelled by adults and peers.
While reading or telling a story, ask children questions such as, “How do you think she is feeling?” or “What could you do to help?”
Songs and games can also encourage children to practise taking turns, sharing, co-operating and listening to others. Through these everyday experiences, children begin to understand that other people have feelings and perspectives that may be different from their own.
5. Create moments of calm and connection
Children, like adults, can become overwhelmed. When this happens, they may need support to pause and regulate their emotions. A caregiver can sit with a child, offer reassurance, encourage a few slow breaths or simply provide a quiet moment before talking about what happened.
These moments teach children that difficult feelings can be managed and that they do not have to face them alone.
Families and caregivers also need support. Emotional wellbeing is strengthened when adults are able to pause, ask for help when they need it and show children healthy ways to cope with stress. Even when life feels busy or difficult, a calm and caring adult presence can help a child feel secure.
“Sometimes, the smallest moments can make a lasting difference in how a child sees themselves, understands their feelings, connects with others and approaches the world around them,” concludes Payne.
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