A post answering ridiculous questions about South Africa is going viral and leaving us in stitches of laughter.
Global (20 August 2022) – Does it get windy? Where do I watch Koala racing? Do you have milk? What direction is North in South Africa? These are some of the hilarious questions asked by global tourists before travelling here. The answers are even funnier.
The questions about South Africa were posted on a Tourism Website and allegedly answered by the website owner.
Read them below:
Does it ever get windy in South Africa? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?
We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Will I be able to see elephants in the street?
Depends on how much you’ve been drinking.
I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town – can I follow the railroad tracks?
Sure, it’s only two thousand kilometres. Take lots of water.
Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa?
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific.
A-fri-ca is the big triangle-shaped continent south of Europe which does not… oh, forget it!
Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.
Which direction is north in South Africa?
Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get there, and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
Can I bring cutlery into South Africa?
Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule?
Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is.. oh forget it!
Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir play every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, straight after the Koala Bear races.
Come naked.
Do you have perfume in South Africa?
No, WE don’t stink.
Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa?
Only at Christmas.
Are there killer bees in South Africa?
Not yet, but for you, we’ll import them.
Are there supermarkets in Cape Town, and is milk available all year round?
No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can dispense rattlesnake serum?
Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from.
Some South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
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