Erika Jooste and Mari Payne gently unpack how our focus on gender equality has left the boys behind.
South Africa (02 October 2025) – In our collective pursuit of gender equity, we have made vital strides in uplifting girls and women. We’ve fought for their rights, expanded their opportunities, and challenged the systems that have long held them back. But in doing so, we must confront an uncomfortable truth: we are leaving many boys behind.
This is not a call to shift focus away from girls. It is a call to expand the circle of care – to recognise that gender equity is not a zero-sum game, but a shared liberation. When boys are supported to break free from harmful stereotypes, they become allies – not adversaries – in the fight for justice.
Boys Are Falling Behind – Quietly
The Thrive by Five Index 2024 reveals a troubling reality in South Africa: only 37% of boys are developmentally on track for early learning, compared to 48% of girls. In domains like fine motor coordination, executive functioning, and emotional readiness, boys consistently lag behind. These gaps are not biological inevitabilities – they are the result of gendered expectations, caregiver misconceptions, and educational environments that fail to support boys’ emotional and cognitive development.
And yet, 64% of caregivers believe their child is developing faster than peers. This disconnect is particularly pronounced for boys, whose struggles are often masked by outdated notions of toughness and stoicism.
Masculinity as a Trap
Across Rwanda, South Africa, and Uganda, boys are navigating a world where masculinity is both a shield and a trap. The Equimundo study on masculinities found that while many young men aspire to care, connect, and contribute, they are socialised into roles of control, provision, and emotional detachment.
Masculinity is often defined by dominance, not empathy; by surveillance, not trust. And when boys feel excluded from conversations about gender justice, they may disengage – or push back.
The Silence Around Boys’ Trauma
In homes marked by violence, boys often experience a double invisibility. The Callaghan et al. (2025) study on boys growing up with violent fathers reveals that boys are rarely supported in making sense of their trauma. Their relationships with abusive fathers are complex -marked by fear, ambivalence, and a longing for connection. Yet, most interventions focus on mothers and daughters, leaving boys to navigate their pain alone.
This silence reinforces the myth of male invulnerability. It denies boys the right to be vulnerable, to seek help, and to imagine futures free from violence.
Boys Want And Deserve More
The Navigating Boyhood in Sub-Saharan Africa report shows that boys aged 8–13 face disengagement from education, exposure to violence, and a lack of positive role models. But it also shows that boys aspire to be better fathers, supportive partners, and respected members of society.
They want to be seen. They want to be safe. They want to belong.
What Must Change
To truly advance gender equity, we must embrace a holistic approach that includes boys without sidelining girls. This means investing in gender-synchronised programming that fosters inclusivity and equality. We need to reframe care as courage, showing boys that nurturing, emotional expression, and vulnerability are strengths, not weaknesses. Creating safe spaces for boys to talk about their feelings, relationships, and identities is crucial. Additionally, we must challenge harmful media narratives and amplify stories of boys who choose empathy over dominance. By doing so, we can build a more compassionate and understanding society for all children, regardless of gender.
In our efforts to support boys and redefine masculinity, we draw inspiration from the guiding ethos of Sesame Workshop International South Africa (SWISA) the home of Takalani Sesame’s mission to help children everywhere grow smarter, stronger, and kinder. This isn’t just a tagline; it’s a call to action that resonates deeply with the challenges boys face today.
To encourage gender-equitable play and promote gender equity among children and caregivers, SWISA produced Seasons 15 and 16 of Takalani Sesame. These episodes aim to challenge gender stereotypes and foster gender-transformative learning. The content was created with the guidance of educators, cultural advisors, and gender specialists, ensuring it aligns with both national and global frameworks on gender-transformative pedagogy. The episodes feature stories that normalize emotional expression among boys, highlight leadership among girls, and showcase equitable caregiving roles across all genders. These elements are woven into playful learning formats designed to stimulate intergenerational dialogue and reflection.
SWISA’s vision is to empower each generation to build a better world. That means creating joyful, inclusive experiences that expand hearts and enrich minds. It means seeing the world through a child’s eyes – recognising that every child, regardless of gender, deserves to feel safe, seen, and supported. The call to action is to reframe care as courage by including boys in the circle of care and building programs that nurture empathy, connection, and social emotional learning.
A Shared Future
This is not about choosing between girls and boys. It’s about choosing all children. It’s about building a world where every child -regardless of gender -can thrive, connect, and contribute.
We owe it to them. And we owe it to ourselves.
Erika Jooste is the Education and Gender Manager at Sesame Workshop International South Africa and Mari Payne is the Deputy Managing Director and Senior Director Education and Programmes at Sesame Workshop International, South Africa.
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