Ihab Balha started one of the most significant “peace projects” in the Middle East, has met the Dali Lama, spoke at a TEDx, calls Chris Martin (from Coldplay) a friend and is one of the most incredible storytellers I have ever had the honour of listening to.
Tel Aviv, Israel (09 November 2022) – I recently travelled to the Middle East and had the opportunity to meet some of the most incredible people from the region, truly inspirational humans who are advocates for peace and love.
This is Ihab Balha’s story.
We were invited to speak to a local about conflict, and not “the conflict”, but conflict in general. I need to make this clear… I did not come to the Middle East for that. I didn’t come here to write about something that is so incredibly complex, and tragic, and something that I really, truly don’t understand.
I came here because I recently found out that my great-grandfather may have only survived World War 2 because he left everything behind. We know nothing about his past except that he arrived in South Africa with just the clothes on his back, all alone, possibly losing his religion in the process. I came here because when my Nephew tragically died earlier this year, the person who comforted me in my pain was from Israel. A stranger saw me crying – I was in a hotel at the time – and offered me so much comfort. Their kindness shook me and somehow made me want to see this “holy land”. I came here to eat hummus. To see the sights. To drink in the bars. To swim in the sea. To experience Israel like a tourist would.
I came here for me. That’s it.
But I somehow found myself in a man’s house, sitting on the floor, drinking herbal tea, listening to a story about peace, love and how we have this immense power to not only create positive change to impact those around us but generations to come.
That experience changed me.
His name is Ihab Balha. He started one of the most significant “peace projects” in the Middle East, has met the Dali Lama, spoke at a TEDx, calls Chris Martin (from Coldplay) a friend, and is one of the most incredible storytellers I have ever had the honour of listening to.
Obviously, I knew none of this when I arrived at his house.
We arrived. He opened his doors, made us take off our shoes, sat us down, poured a cup of tea and started his story right from the very beginning.
He explained how he was born into hate. Or learnt hate. His family – Muslim – hated the Jews for all they stood for. His Dad would tell him endless stories of why they had to be hated. He spent all his years hating people. People he had never actually met.
That changed when he started working in his Dad’s restaurant – yes, they sold hummus. He now had to serve the very people he hated. Ihab likes to say one “must stay flexible”, so serving people he was meant to hate was him flexing his flexibility.
One day – randomly – a customer in the restaurant and himself got into an argument, which quickly turned into an altercation, and then became a weekly occurrence. The man was Jewish and hated Muslims. Ihab was both his equal and his antithesis. They would fight every other week and when they didn’t, Ihab found himself missing the interaction. They would pull out newspaper articles, and talk about their family stories, and their communities and everything they believed was right in their eyes to prove their points about who was better. They spent months shouting at each other.
His phone rings. He stops the story on a cliffhanger.
“I must answer; it’s my mother.”
I don’t understand Arabic but I do understand love. He answered the phone because he loves her. It’s the same all over the world. You must always answer when your mother calls.
He starts again. He tells us that the day it all changed was the day the Jewish man stopped shouting. Just for a minute. Ihab couldn’t understand what was going on. Why was this Jewish man not fighting with him? He asked, and the man – with tears in his eyes – told Ihab that his wife was leaving him.
Ihab says that “his heart and his head fought” that day.
He was confused. He wanted to argue with this man but also wanted to help him. So he chose the latter. He sat and comforted the man he hated so much. He stopped shouting and listened. And then shared his own pain and struggles.
The two men found a common place in their pain. They discovered their human kindness.
It was that moment that planted the seed of change. It was at that moment that everything changed.
It started small but Ihab started learning about other cultures, religions and communities. He spent countless hours unlearning everything he thought to be his truth and, in that relearning, started to understand what this life should really be about… and Ihab says that is love. This life is all about love.
“You see, every religion has big love, but we must remember that love has no religion. And really, REALLY, your real identity is not your religion: it is in your deeds. It’s in love.”
He then invited friends to meet people they had also been taught to hate. Christians, Jews and Muslims and every community in between. All together. Not shouting but listening. Being flexible.
At first, it was just 2 people. And then 20. And then 200. And then 2,000. And then 20,000.
We sat for 2 hours listening to his fascinating story.
He went on to build one of the most significant “peace projects” in the Middle East and, in the process, conquered his closest conflict. His family. He helped his family unlearn what they thought to be their own truth… to the point that he received his parent’s blessing to marry a Jewish woman, the love of his life Ora, it took some time and lots of “flexibility” but it eventually happened. With love.
This led him to his next chapter.
When Nur, their first child was born, they faced a profound dilemma. There were no schools in the Middle East that catered for children who were “interfaith”. Ihab and Ora decided that they would open one. And in 2010, a unique kindergarten for Christians, Jews and Muslim children was born. One that reflected their interfaith way of living and beliefs.
At first, it was just 2 children. And then 20. And then 200. Over the past decade, thousands of children have been educated by the couple, promoting a new language of peace and love.
Over time, Ihab and Ora’s concept of peace and love has become the glue that holds many communities together, inspiring many organisations, institutions and individuals from the Holy Land and worldwide.
And yes, Chris Martin heard about his project, got involved and they are now friends.
As he takes his last sip of tea, he tells us that he doesn’t quite know what the future holds but he knows that “there is no path to love because love is the path, the answer is love… and a little flexibility”.
Yes, with people like Ihab around, I know there will be peace.
In sha’Allah (and a little flexibility).
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