Questions Ask South Africa all the Questions Series

A Facebook page has sparked an amazing conversation between South Africans about race with a few simple questions… ask anything you want too, but don’t be surprised by the funny and inspirational answers!

 

South Africa (29 October 2017) – Ever wondered why white South Africans walk barefoot in public‚ only clap when singing in church‚ love haunted houses and go bananas when they hear the song, Sweet Caroline?

The answer to these and a rapidly growing thread of hilarious questions that have united people of all races across the country can be found on a Facebook post by Joburger.

Louwrence van Niekerk, a 23-year-old South African living in London saw too many depressing, racist posts on social media so decided he was going to try to bring the country together with a few simple questions.

His “burning questions series” started a viral trend which lasted for most of last week, starting an important conversation – with some crazy questions –  amongst hundreds and thousands of South Africans.

The posts garnished a massive following with many South Africans leaving hilarious questions, but most left just feeling inspired by the unity.

“I love how something as simple as a Facebook page and some silly questions can bring all South Africans together. You guys are awesome.”

We’ve taken all 4 of the “Ask South Africa all the Questions Series” and found the best of the best comments and replies for you to read, all in one place!

OK white people, ask black people one question you always wanted to know

Connor Ball asked: “Can I keep some land?”

Bea Campbell-Cloete answered: “Only if I can have some too”

Harmony Kekae replied: “Connor your great greats may have come here by ship and my great greats may have been born here but we my dear were both born under this scorching sun and have eaten the same food, it’s safe to say you’re as african as I am, and don’t be convinced otherwise… You have as much claim to the land as any other African born child”

Kerry Vine asked: “Why do your weddings always start like 3 hours after the invite time, us whities are sitting there on our own and everyone arrives 3 hours later like they all got a secret message that we missed out on”

Tsibo Laura Ndlovu replied: “BMT… black man’s time. You have to study the patterns of black people around you. Adjust your clock to work at their pace and time.”

Lunga Ndobe answered: “Lol We tell time in terms of morning, noon, etc. Not in numbers. So 9am just means be there at the morning… might as well be 11am”

Theo Nyalunga asked: “I am black but i got to ask black people…why do ya’ll speak to your dogs in afrikaans and then claim you don’t understand afrikaans???”

Mishael Mitchell replied: “Theo Nyalunga I’m actually studying abroad and forgot that I’m not home and said voetsek to a dog that was sniffing my leg and it didn’t work”

Zipho Natasha added: “This word Voetsak is in the SADC memorandum of agreement, all Southern African dogs are parties to this MOU.”

Andile Mthombeni said: “one of my biggest fears, being abroad then getting chased by a dog that doesnt understand what voetsek means”

Ryan Deacon asked: “Can we discuss the shaved eyebrows that are then drawn back on as squares?”

Thami Mashego-Letsoalo replied: “hei hei bro that’s one sensitive matter even us black guys aren’t allowed to even question!”

Pitso Mokoena added: “We can’t understand this ourselves”

Bafana Maseko said: “They’re artists and you must pick a facial expression for the whole day”

Chris Marsberg asked: “Does water burn your eyes? Cause iv noticed when swimming, every few strokes you stop, tread water and wipe your face… then you swim again for a few strokes… it’s fascinating”

Nyasha Zimunya answered: “My day has been made. I dont know why we do that. Maybe its the fear of drowning. So wiping the face to check and make sure we still alive and not under”

Tsibo Laura Ndlovu said: “Swimming is to us what dancing is to you. We suck at it”

Lynton Swartz asked: “What secret makes you all so damn stylishly dressed the whole time, like no matter what. In the street, dude looks fresh, at the mall ladies got it down. No matter what I do I still look like my mom dressed me”

Bongiwe Blaq Divah Ndawo replied: “😂😂😂 u just killed me with @ my momma dressed me”

Irvin Rups said: “Thanks for the compliment,white dudes always look fresh too mate..in the college sweaters…Yeah… Nah 😂 ….”

Samke Lisiwe said: “Dear Everybody – can we do this once a year or after every 15,000kms? I think our country needs a regular service”

Luzuko Sonjica stated: “Totally love it when there’s peace and harmony between SAns, this is a good start towards right direction. There may be a bit of discomfort here and there and that’s ok because nothing of great value is ever achieved within the confines of comfort. The overall ambience in this thread is that of mutual respect and NATURAL UNSPOKEN love. Keep it up people. I’m so happy right now”

Cindy ‘lientjie’ Buytendag added: “I love your comment!! People don’t get along because they don’t take time to understand one another. Some questions may be uncomfortable but it’s the truth and it’s great that we can all see the humour in it. It’s about time we all stopped being so serious and embrace our diverse cultures.”

OK black people, ask white people one question you always wanted to know

Zanel’Intombi Ndhlovu asked: “Why have y’all lived in South Africa for generations but still can’t speak a single vernacular? But you go to France for 2 weeks and be “Cest la vie”-ing all over the place”

Francois van Vuuren answered: “I’m Afrikaans and i’ve been battling for a full 38 years to speak proper Afrikaans… now you expect me to speak something else as well…”

Keshni Govender said: “Very very true. But just a few days ago I asked a friend of mine why he wouldn’t learn to speak Zulu and he said that it’s because he can’t seduce a woman with Zulu. 🤦‍♀️”
Buzile Bubs Mtetwa asked: “White folks…are you guys immortal I mean Why do you test God? Free falling? Jumping from one building to another? Free diving? Everything that has the possibility of dying you do. I mean even in the movies you go look for the fucken killer Whyyyyyyyy”

Carmen van der Walt replied: “Too funny! Don’t forget those crazy buggers going shark cage diving! No we aren’t immortal but certainly do test the limits 🤣.”

Hulie Thegoodemusic added: “It’s called WHITE PEOPLING”

Lungisani ManzeZulu Mabuza asked: “Why are you white ladies starting to get thicker and all sexy…….I am starting to forgive the land issue……#Wink…..#I_am_Watching_You!!!”

Cathy Heaton answered: “We thank you for making curves popular! Now we can actually eat AND enjoy our food!”

Tatz Mog added: “This reminded me of this one time I was at Woolworth Hillcrest and on a quee in front of me there was this white lady thick and all perfect I mean the booty and curves were just too perfect I couldn’t hold it in thereof I complemented her she immediately became teary n blushing telling me of how much she grew up hating her body wanting to be slim. she appreciated my compliment so much to date I still think she is the most beautiful (non famous) white person I have laid my eyes on… tjeses”

Dunston Mokoena asked: “My white peeps. What’s with the unhealthy relationship with tequila and trying to get the black guy to join in? That stuff is lethal to black people”

Talia Bam replied: “Dude…. its lethal to white people as well…. we just take till the next morning to remember that.”

Marco Engelbrecht added: “If you have a couple of tequilas you wont realise that we cant dance!”

Mike Kumi asked: “Why dont you wear shoes in Spar?”

Chantay Peterson replied: “Because shoes are evil and hold my feet prison”

Thomas Farrar added: “As a white foreigner I also have this question… The no shoes thing seems to be unique to SA whites. I’ve also seen boys/men walking around with no shirt in a Spar.”

Simphiwe Zwide Nxumalo said: “I just love the fact that no one is catching feelings, it’s just all fun.. I hope this getting along together doesn’t end just at the tip of our fingers. Let’s be good to one another, we live in different times now, LET’S JUST GET ALONG. SALUTE TO THIS POST”

Connie Hope Matzner agreed: “After reading this post and questions asked… I have realised I am not a typical white chick 😂🤣 I do get cold in winter and under air conditioning… I wash my undies when I bath or shower not in the washing machine… 😂 good luck finding any meat on a bone I have eaten whether it be chicken or ribs or any bone for that matter you won’t find any you won’t find any marrow either as I’d eat that too 😂🤣 I’d choose Vulindlela over delaray every single time #ripbrenda I’m 33 and if my mom was still alive I wouldn’t back chat her in fear of getting my face slapped 😂🤣 Sooooo loving the questions asked and the humour in it all! Much much love fellow south africans!”

Stephan Potgieter added: “Love this. And yes, if they divide us, it makes them stronger. If we unite it makes us stronger. This is what the country needs. I have been growing up in the new SA is what I know. I cannot imagine SA divided. We are the people and we love the country. No matter what politics they throw our way. We are stronger, as we are the new generation. Makes me feel so good.”

OK black & white peoople, ask indian people one question you always wanted to know

Kevin Gee asked: “What’s up with the tissue box at the back of the car”

Vikesh Ramkelawon replied: “In case of emergency:
Girlfriend crying …sorted.
Someone scratched your car…sorted.
Emergency bunny stop…sorted.
Diarrhoea…sorted.”

Cameron Dasari Moonsammy added: “We steal them from guest houses and hotels”

Thandile Blouw asked: “Are you guys naturally born with fire-resistant taste buds????”

Leeandran Naidoo replied: “Our kids use green chillies as dummies. Curry tastebuds developed in no time!”

Tamishka Manissha Pillay added: “We are born with internal sprinklers”

 

Scott Campbell asked: “What is it with you ou’s and petrol stations? It’s not a night club, why would you want to spend a Friday night standing around one with your mate’s??”

Allan Maclaurin replied: “Because you can’t drive a GTI into a nightclub”

Ayaaz Kader answered: “We own the petrol stations”

Tebogo Makaveli Mohube said: “Lol the media misleads ..it’s so impressive how South Africans are open to each other regardless of Race..colour..religion and culture yeah lets ignore the media and get along😊

Karen Rogers Bartmann agreed: “I have to say these posts are brilliant….not fighting no racism just awesome learning about each other’s cultures. Why can’t we be like this all of the time.”

Kgomotso Brezhnev Moleme added: “Day made. Only hope we treat each other so cordially everyday everywhere.”

OK black people, white people & indian people, ask coloured people one question you always wanted to know

Nardus Snyman said: “im going straight to the real question are u born with the coloured accent or do you get it with the street life”

Natalie Jantjies replied: “I would say we are born with a flexible accent. Send a coloured to London for a week……bam….ko terug met queens English. We are actually very talented!”

Michelle Mohamed said: “It’s passed on through the Breast milk”

Kewin Rogers asked: “Always wanted to know why we say words twice to decrease the magnitude of a situation? Like “I’m hungry, but not HUNGRY hungry…”

Mondre Ashton Bremner answered: “Haha that’s true though. Like it was cold, but not cold cold.”

Luke Bruce Peterson added: “When we speak in 2’s, we joking around, if speaking in 3’s, we serious, and that’s the truth lol”

Lizelle Smit said: “Of all the races in south Africa coloureds is my favourite! They are just so spicy and colourful. They will tell you a story like it happend to them meanwhile it was the neighbour’s aunt’s ex husband who had an affair with the priest’s daughter and she was hear the story from her cousin..”

Jo-Dene Therelga Alah replied: “If you came to your parents and didn’t tell the story in first person when you were little they would say you were lying so now that’s the only way how….you speak about everything as if it’s happened right in front of you”

Warren Nel added: “I honestly think that they should let traditional coloured people aka ‘gham’ be news presenters!”

Mango Jama Why do you guys flatten yo front hair on yo forehead with gel all the way to the eyebrows & pull some infront of the ears…are you trying to prove you are mlungu or what🤷🏽‍♂️ ey issa struggle neh!!!…..i cant concentrate

Busisiwe Gumbi added: “Thank you coloured people for the most colourful swear words known to man. Words so sharp, they sting even the person overhearing!”

Michael Papamallis said: “If only the politicians could see how peaceful we are… They lying to us and themselves, pushing for shit that just ain’t true.”

The truth of the matter is that South Africa is an incredibly beautiful country and we are truly blessed to be able to call it home. We may be different in many ways, but we are also similar too!

Whether we are black, or white, or indian, or coloured… we are all South African.

United we stand. Divided we fall.

To see more questions and answers, visit the Joburger Facebook page.


Sources: South Africans Questions |  Facebook
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About the Author

Brent Lindeque is the founder and man in charge at Good Things Guy.

Recognised as one of the Mail and Guardian’s Top 200 Young South African’s as well as a Primedia LeadSA Hero, Brent is a change maker, thought leader, radio host, foodie, vlogger, writer and all round good guy.

3 comments

  1. My white daughter is engaged to a black guy and they have a coloured baby my precious grandchild
    How awesome is that
    My husband and I love them to bits

  2. can we talk like this every day i mean wow, i want to know more about all of you and i love you all THANK YOU PEOPLE OF SOUTH AFRICA now i understand a little more about all of you. lets have more more talks i want to love you even more THANK YOU

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