We all know a yapper. We all love our yappers. Jacqueline’s yapper of 28 years, Hanro, could win an Olympic medal for yapping. And Jacqueline could scoop the Pulitzer for her retelling of it…
Cape Town, South Africa (23 November 2025) – It all started when Cape Town couple Hanro and his loving wife, Jacqueline, visited the hospital.
“There comes a time in every marriage when you look at your partner, lying on a hospital bed, pretending to be brave, and you think ‘haai shame, this man is about one heartbeat away from poeping in his finest Panagucci,” shares Jacqueline.
Hanro was understandably nervous before the procedure in theatre. But he wasn’t going to let it show, of course.
“There he was Hanro in all his ‘calmest’ stretched out glory…trying VERY hard to not let his nerves show. But I knew, deep in that man’s soul right under the layer of bravado and dad jokes he needed nothing but an Urbanol, a cuddle, and a weighted blanket blessed by angels themselves,” shared Jacqueline.
But when the panic fully kicked in, so did the ‘praating.’
There was a lot of it.
“His nerves hit the panic button, and with that came his favourite coping mechanism. Verbal diarrhea. The kind that doesn’t stop. That doesn’t pause. That doesn’t breathe,” shared Jacqueline.
We all know a Hanro. Some of us are Hanro. Not pointing fingers.
“By the time a nurse wheeled him toward theatre, he had the entire medical team trapped in a conversation they definitely didn’t sign up for. That man panic talked. And don’t you dare start a story with him and try slip away, he will follow you like an invoice from SARS hands down no jokes!” shares Jacqueline.
“So into theatre he goes, cheerful like he’s at a braai instead of 10 minutes away from unconsciousness. The doctor’s prepping, the nurses are busy, and he is having fat conversations like he just got invited there for sundowners.”
He was even praating with the anesthesiologist. Who did not bat an eye. Considerably more calm and collected than Hanro, who then tried to force out one last line about his wife quickly, before going under.
“They start chatting, my husband is in his element. They’re laughing, making jokes, forming trauma bonds and whatever. He’s telling them all about me and how I’m probably sitting outside already laughing myself into a coma just thinking about him being here…And then the anesthesiologist, a man who knows what chaos is coming, says to him ‘Sir, you will feel a little pinch now.’ My husband laughs. The anesthesiologist laughs. They’re mid sentence…”
And then it kicked in proper!
“No warning. No slow fade. Just like Eskom during loadshedding unexpectedly and without mercy. His eyes went soft. His lips forgot how vowels work. His tongue was like, ‘mayday mayday..Brother, we are logging off… Now!!’” shared Jacqueline. “But THIS man fights. THIS man refuses to be silenced. THIS man tries to finish his joke. But he’s battling that anesthesia. He’s mumbling, slurring, trying to force out the rest of his sentence about how his wife, me, the supportive, delightful angel, who will be laughing herself into a commeeeaaa…
And then…mid slur, mid fight, mid drool and mid fart. The man expires into full unconsciousness…Bam. Out. Lights off. Game over. Goodnight, sweet warrior of Panaguccis!!!”
Hanro 0 Happy Juice 1.
“The anesthesiologist probably stood there like a champion who has done this a thousand times. Stopping grown ass adults mid sentence is literally part of his degree…The sheer JOY of watching loud, ‘brave’ patients power down like broken WiFi routers. It must be intoxicating, satisfying almost.”
Imagine having that level of power to stop a yapper?
“When Hanro’s eyes flutter open after the operation he is quite clearly confused. Groggy. Ready to fight everyone. One of the second things that man said – face serious, dignity gone, voice cracking – was ‘daai bliksems…ek kon NIE my sin klaar praat nie!’
A yapper’s voice is not easily tamed unless you’re an anaesthesiologist in theatre.
“I would study today if someone told me I could press a button and silence people in under 10 seconds. Tannie going on for 45 minutes about gout…injection. The guy at the braai who wouldn’t stop talking about himself all night…injection. The aunty who keeps popping up everywhere screaming ‘undercover smoothie agent’ on my posts…injection. Glorious absolute peace I’d say!”
“But this is real life so for now, I am forced to leave that power to the professionals…I will laugh about it until we are 97 sitting on the stoep, taking turns to fart and turning up our hearing devices!”
We were in stitches. Because we all have a Hanro in life. But also because Jacqueline is hilarious, and she’s a solid storyteller. Her blog, Derailed but Delightful, shares anecdotes that are funny, serious, weird, wonderful, human and wholesome.
She started writing 6 years ago as a way to heal and beat anxiety after a challenging period.
“Writing became my way back to myself again. I shared a few stories on Facebook, never imagining anyone would care and then they did. My words connected with people who were also carrying hurt, stress, humour, chaos and hope. That’s how Derailed but Delightful was born.”
Now she has nearly 10,000 followers who look forward to her words.
“I started the page in June, scared and unsure, and somehow it grew to 9400 followers who show up not for perfection, but for realness. For laughter. For honesty. For those little moments of joy that make life feel lighter,” shares Jacqueline.
She’s all about happiness, hope, and having a lekker laugh.
“The world has enough places where people fight and tear each other down. The brave thing especially when your own cup isn’t full is choosing to lift someone else and fill theirs. I love hope, I love happiness, I love togetherness and the beautiful bits of humanity. That’s why I find joy in writing about all sorts of humour one can find in the everyday ordinary usually mundane things like standing in a check out line, or having an ingrown toenail removed.”
Give Jacqueline’s blog a follow by clicking through here.
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