Cancer has taken a great deal from Mr and Mrs Barnard. It has not taken their love for each other.
Alberton, South Africa (29 October 2026) – Mr Barnard, who is now 63 years old, has been fighting cancer for a year. His wife has been fighting it for five. This week, for the first time in months, they are doing it side by side.
They married in September 2016. Around 2020, she was diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. Her surgery was successful, and Mr Barnard still laughs about the morning after, when he found her brushing her teeth with a scar running from ear to ear.
“I nearly got a heart attack,” he says, as per Stepping Stone Hospice.
In February this year the tumour came back. Mrs Barnard is on treatment now and is paralysed down her left side. Last September, Mr Barnard was diagnosed with cancer too.
“I helped her through my sickness, but I’m also weak,” he adds.
The months since have brought good days and difficult ones, too.
“The months that followed were a cycle of good days and weak days, pain, dizziness and sickness. At home, a kind young woman helped care for his wife, but Mr Barnard was worn down and worried.” the hospice writes.
He admits that at first, he didn’t want to go to Stepping Stone Hospice at all.
“I said to myself, come on, be realistic. You have to come here.”
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“This morning I had a nice shower,” he said, sounding like a man who had won something back. “I couldn’t walk too far. Now I can at least walk a bit. I feel like I’m waking up.”
He says it’s because of the care he receives. The wonderful people looking after him and Mrs Barnard. The nurses who ‘go out of their way’, medication given at exactly the right time, and warmth that surrounds them each day.
“This is not a business,” he said. “This is real care for people. This is life.”
What matters most to him is that his wife is there with him. They are fighting the battle together, side by side.
A member of the hospice team was worried about the couple’s situation and arranged for her to be admitted there, so she could get the medical care she needs while being close to her husband. He had asked whether she could stay with him. He never expected the answer to be yes.
“Wow, we’re together today,” he says, his voice softening. “She’s next to me and I’m next to her. I’m so happy for Stepping Stone for helping us.”
When the team visited, his wife was resting. Mr Barnard was watching over her, as he has for years.
Mr Barnard says he knew very little about hospice before this.
“If you’re sick, you need hospice,” he said.
Many people think of hospice as the place you go right at the end of life. Mr Barnard wants people to know it covers far more than that. It is also about comfort, dignity and kindness for people who are still living, and about looking after the family as well as the patient.
Hospices in South Africa depend heavily on donations from the public. Mr Barnard hopes more businesses and individuals will give to Stepping Stone, so that other families can get the same care he and his wife are getting now.
“Mr Barnard and his wife are such a gift to our team,” says Sr Nondulo Kona, the hospice’ inpatient unit manager. “Even in the midst of their own illness, they care so deeply for each other. Their love for each other is clear to everyone who walks into their room, and it has touched all of us at Stepping Stone.”
Cancer has taken a lot from Mr and Mrs Barnard. It hasn’t taken their love for each other, the hospice adds.
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