Livhuwani Maphorogo, research manager at Heartlines, shares what children long for in fathers, for World Children’s Day.
South Africa (20 November 2024) – Today, 20 November, is International Children’s Day and in South Africa, we’ll be marking 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence (GBV) from 25 November. In drawing attention to these important days, Heartlines is releasing our new report, Fathers Matter: Amplifying Children’s Unfiltered Perspectives on Fatherhood.
It offers unique insights into how children between the ages of 10 and 16 perceive “good” and “bad” fathers and highlights the impact of father absence on youth behaviours and social dynamics.
Why fathers matter
This new research builds on the formative fatherhood research Heartlines initiated in 2019, expanding our understanding of why many fathers are physically or emotionally absent from their children’s lives and the profound impact father absence has on children. This research continues to inform the activities of Heartlines’ national “Fathers Matter” programme.
Research shows that children who grow up without the active, positive presence of one or more men in their lives puts them at significant risk of certain outcomes. These risks include becoming victims or perpetrators of violence, including GBV, substance addiction, teenage pregnancy, increased risk of mental illness, and poor educational and economic outcomes.
The Fathers Matter research report focuses on children’s experiences, observations, and perspectives regarding fatherhood, gender roles and identities, masculinities, and violence. The report gives a voice to those directly affected by these issues.
Research findings
The research findings show that, across backgrounds, South African children associate a “good” father not only with providing basic needs but also with offering love, emotional support, and active involvement in their lives. However, many children experience or witness contradictory behaviours where fathers – ideally seen as protectors – are instead sources of fear and insecurity due to acts of physical, verbal, and even sexual violence. The research sheds light on a disturbing cycle: children replicate these behaviours, including substance abuse and violence, particularly in school settings.
The research showed that while children see a father’s role as being a provider, they also long for emotional connection.
As one young girl said, “A father can be a good father without money… His presence in a child’s life and his support and love is what matters, the most important thing in life is love, just love for the child will be everything.”
This echoes perspectives from our 2019 research, revealing a shared desire for love and care from fathers – a similar “fatherhood wish” – across generations. Adults also longed for deeper emotional connections with their fathers as children.
As one male focus group participant said, “You can give me a million rand, but what I need the most is a bond with you… I need you, not what you have.”
The report also revealed the importance of father figures, who “stand in the gap” even where biological fathers are absent, offering children alternative perspectives and influences that shape their understanding of fatherhood and manhood. This highlights the significant role that societal and community influences play in the formation of children’s perceptions of what a good father or man can look like. Brothers, grandfathers, uncles, cousins, teachers and men in their community become important sources of behavioural direction and support.
For example, one young girl from Mitchells Plain shared, “My favourite teacher… was there for me even when I had my ups and downs. Even if I failed a test, he would cheer me up. He’s like a father to me. He makes learning more fun. He’s a teacher I never want to forget.”
Heartlines’ research also underscores the need to address cultural norms that perpetuate violence and limit the agency of women and girls, highlighting a pressing need for positive, active and present male role models who can provide alternative narratives and healthier coping strategies for children impacted by absent or abusive fathers.
Encouraging active fatherhood
Our hope is for this research to inspire both present and absent fathers to reflect on what truly matters to their children, recognising that their love, care, and presence have far more impact than financial support alone – and to make amends where needed. A father’s active involvement can shape their child’s future positively.
Moreover, we encourage grandfathers, uncles, cousins, teachers, and sports coaches to read this report and see how important their unique role is in supporting children who may lack an active and positively involved father. This report provides a meaningful window into the challenges these young people face, offering guidance on how mentors and caregivers can make a lasting, positive difference in their lives.
Historically, I believe we’ve underestimated the role a positive, present father has in a child’s life. This is evident by the fact that so many children in South Africa grow up without their biological father or a positive male caregiver. While we salute the incredible role that mothers, single mothers, grandmothers and aunts play, when a father is involved, it benefits the child, the mother and men themselves.
Amplifying children’s voices in research on fatherhood, masculinity, gender roles, and gender-based violence is a pivotal step in creating a healthier and just society.
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