If Aunt Agony had a South African cousin who loved good news, gluten-free food and telling people to buy the shoes, they’d probably look a lot like me. I receive loads of messages… I think it’s about time I start sharing those replies.
Johannesburg, South Africa (20 June 2026) – Do you remember Aunt Agony? There was no real Aunt… just an idea of one. A wise, trusted older woman offering guidance to people in “agony”.
The concept dates back 300 years. Historians trace the first “Agony Aunt” advice columns to London in the late 17th century. Readers would send in questions to Newspapers about love, marriage and everyday dilemmas. A panel of writers would publish answers for the public to read.
Me… I sometimes feel like Aunt Agony. But with a Carrie Bradshaw vibe. A less problematic one.
I get loads of messages. Lots of people write to me to ask for advice. And I love it. I love that people think I have what it takes to give the right guidance. I really don’t (have what it takes). Like, some of my advice should not be followed.
I have a huge problem with “girl math”. Buy all the shoes. In every colour. Take the trip. Do the thing. Daydrink if you must.
See, I don’t think these recommendations are very sound.
I’m just a guy. A regular, stock-standard-average guy. But I guess, because of what I get to do, what I do, do… my outlook on the world may be a bit “lighter” than most. And my opinions on how to do “some” things… might actually help.
I got a message this morning. Someone is going through a really tough time. They wanted to know how I manage to stay so “happy”.
The truth is, I don’t. I’m not happy. Not all the time.
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This is my Aunt Agony column. Dear Good Things Guy… or should I rather call it “Ask Oom Brent”?
Dear Friend,
I am sorry you feel like your life is falling apart. I hope you don’t let that feeling be all that consumes you.
I’ll be honest… being happy takes work. Not every day is a good day. Not every day is easy. But I try to focus on the good things, even when there is bad. I try to find things to be grateful for. And I try to fill my cup… doing things that add to my happiness.
This morning I had a really lekker cup of coffee. And cuddled my pups. And pizza for breakfast. Gluten-free. I phoned my mom. I wrote a couple of good news stories (that always helps me). And I got to reply to you… hopefully making you feel a little better. I’m going to gym just now (always great for my mental health). And then I am seeing my friends. Later, I may even play PlayStation. A big cup filler for me. Oh, I am also going to the “Music in the City” event this evening… seeing the Drakensburg Boys Choir gala concert. We’ve written about them for years but I have never seen them live. I am excited. And I know that will fill my cup completely.
When our cups are full, we can help others fill theirs. It’s cliché but that’s my philosophy anyway.
So my advice is to do something. Just one thing to fill your cup. And hopefully you will find another. My second piece of advice is to not make your world small. Go for a walk. Get some sunshine (even in the cold). Visit a friend or family member. Sit in a coffee shop and see the world. Because the world is bladdy beautiful. My final piece of advice is to reach out to someone you love. There’s a stat somewhere about how spending a couple of minutes with someone you love… a pup, a friend or a family member, can change your entire perspective. It actually, really, makes you happier.
Try those 3 things. Not all at once. Just one a time. And hopefully you start to feel lighter. And the world around you becomes a little less heavy. Hopefully it fills your cup. And you start to feel a little happier.
Also, remember that you don’t need to be “happy” all the time. Sometimes sitting with your feelings, and holding them with kindness, can be the kindest thing you do for yourself.
I hope that helps. I really do.
And if all else fails, buy the shoes. In every colour.
Okay. Love you. Bye.
by 
